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1) You have to believe the nation's current 8-year prosperity
was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush,
but that yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.

2) You have to believe that government should stay out
of people's lives, yet you want government to regulate
only opposite-gender marriages, school prayer, and
what your official language should be.

3) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted
with decisions about her own body, but that large
multi-national corporations should have no regulation
or interference whatsoever.

4) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken
Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton
because no other U.S. president has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and lied about it, nor has any
other person elected to public office.

5) You have to believe that we should forgive and
pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston
for their marital infidelities, but that Clinton should be impeached.

6) You have to believe that a waiting period for
purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a
new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

7) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out
of schools because we all know if teenagers don't have
condoms they won't have sex.

8) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked
anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

9) You have to believe that biology teachers are
corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach
them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible,
which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.

10) You have to believe that even though the Arts have been
supported by governments for 5000 years and that most
of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by
governments, our government should shun any such
support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their
own and the poor don't need any.

11) You have to believe that the lumber from the last
1% of old growth U.S. forests, is well worth
the destruction of those forests and extinction of
several species of plants and animals therein.

12) You have to believe that Chinese communist
missiles have killed more Americans than handguns,
alcohol, and tobacco.

13) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long
as it makes a profit, and/or if gas prices come down.

14) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long
as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

15) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way,
Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals,
women who choose abortion, and President Clinton.

16) You have to believe that society is color-blind
and growing up black in America doesn't diminish
opportunities, but you still won't vote for a black candidate.

17) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because
they defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good
because they defend the Constitution.

18) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not
important enough to deserve federal funding
proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the
public doesn't need to be educated about it, because
if we just ignore it, it will go away.

19) You have to believe that only your own teenagers
are still virgins.

20) You have to believe that those privileged from
birth achieve success all on their own.

21) You have to be against government programs, but
expect Social Security checks on time. And that
agricultural subsidies are a Constitutionally derived
right.

Thanks for your participation.

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